Why Some Men do Lots of Yardwork

 Have you ever noticed that guy that is outside all the time tending to his yard? You know who i am talkin about. Every neighborhood has one. He's the guy that mows his yard every two days, is always spraying fertilizer, weeding flowerbeds, tilling, picking and pruning. You know the guy who waters his grass even in the hottest part of the day. I bet you ask yourself, "Why is he out there all the time?"

See when you are newlyweds the newness of your relationship hasn't wore off and you feel compelled to talk things out, listen to what your partner has to say, and compromise whenever possible. The I love you's come every 19 seconds and you look forward to listening to every word that comes out of her mouth. See I think that I have figured it out. There comes a time in your relationship when you don't want to take part in the play dates that she keeps trying to set up with her co-workers husband. You have just had enough!

I use to make fun of that guy wheelbarrowing mulch from one end of the yard to another while wearing his little lampshade straw hat. I would say to myself,"Why not just go inside and watch a football game?" Why you ask? Well because as soon as it's it the 4th quarter with 45 seconds to go in a tie game, she is going to ask you to come in the spare room and help her figure out which drapes she should keep and which ones to sale in the garage sale! And can it wait? Of course it can't wait, because God only knows that the drapes have only been sitting in the same spot for the last 25 years collecting exotic breeds of dust mites!

At some point in a man's life he comes to the realization that a woman has no urge to be outside in the heat of the day mowing a yard that really doesn't need to be mowed. In the quiet solace of his yardwork he can dream that he doesn't actually drive a mini-van, and that he can actually tell her to stop buying him those dreaded neckties every single Father's Day. He doesn't have to listen to the same story that he has already heard 47 times about how her co-worker Betty thinks she is better than everybody else. No nagging, no questions and no lifetime channel movies.

Maybe that guy is a genius? Maybe he figured out the only way to be married and not have your eardrums burst, (because God knows you only get one set of ear drums) is to take yourself out of the nag zone! I've had it wrong all these years! While I was following her around at the department store waiting for her to choose that blouse that is on clearance(that she will never wear) I could have been at home tending to my stead.  Maybe when he sees me drive by with my wife while we are on the way to the craft store, he is actually laughing at me. He might be wearing a bedazzled fanny pack and a straw hat with a green visor attachment, but at least he is at peace. His water bill may be sky high and the outside edges of his Velcro tennis shoes may be grass stained, but one thing can be learned from this story. Lawn mowers and garden tools do not nag! Be at peace my mini-van warrior and God speed!